By nature, we humans are social. Even the most introverted among us knows that fostering good, long-lasting relationships is central to fulfillment in life. In 1992, author and counselor Gary Chapman was so convinced about the importance of relationships that he wrote a #1 New York Times international bestseller The 5 Love Languages® to help couples and families learn how to better understand – and love – each other.
In his book, Chapman identifies the five distinct categories of love languages that humans are tended towards: Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, Quality Time, and Words of Affirmation. Based on decades of family counseling experience, he claims that most individuals have a primary and secondary love language, and the secret to having sustaining, loving relationships is to understand and “speak” the preferred love languages of those you love.
The concept is really quite simple. If giving your wife a bouquet of flowers, for example, doesn’t make her feel loved as much as watching a movie with you, then you can probably assume that quality time is more important to her than gifts are. Or, if your 12-year-old son rolls his eyes when you clean his messy room but smiles and accepts a hug when you tell him you’re proud of him for making the honor roll, then acts of service might not be as meaningful to him as words of affirmation and physical touch. Examples from relationships in the home are plentiful, so for many years leaders in business have wondered whether the 5 love language approach might also apply to relationships in the workplace.
Thankfully, in 2019, Chapman collaborated with best-selling author, speaker, psychologist, and leadership trainer Dr. Paul White to adapt these teachings into a book that covers the work environment. Appropriately retitled “The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace,” it keys in on the individual’s propensity to feel appreciated at work, which is saying loved in a more professional, PC way.
Considering that most working Americans spend 40 hours a week on the job, both physically and remotely, and that businesses thrive when strong individual employee relationships exist, it may pay dividends for your organization to promote and train leaders in Chapman’s approach. Online resources are abundant, and the impact to your company’s teamwork, retention, and productivity might be profound!
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